Sunday, 27 November 2011

Life in a Cold Climate

A few weeks ago Bill showed me a cash point (ATM) that I'd not yet discovered.  In the window of the shop next to it was a poster with a thermometer.  I took a photo to share, but uncertain that the text would be legible, I've re-typed it.  You'll have to imagine the thermometer in the middle.
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Southerners turn on the heating

+50 degrees

Geordies sow the first seeds of spring

Southerners shiver uncontrollably


Geordies sunbathe on the Town Moor

Southerners’ cars won’t start


Geordies drive with the roof down

Southerners wear coats, gloves and woolly hats


Geordies swim in the North Sea

Southerners begin to evaculate


Geordies hold first BBQ of summer

Southern England closes down


Geordies throw on a t-shirt

Southerners cease to exist


Geordie lasses go up the toon for a nite out

David Attenborough produces new series


Geordies dig first leek trench of the year
Even Attenborough gives up


Geordie lasses hoy on more lip gloss

Alcohol freezes


Geordies drink at home because the pubs shut

Microbiological life starts to disappear


Geordies start to think about t-shirt with long sleeves

All atomic motion stops


Geordie lasses hoy on fake tan

Hell freezes over


Sunderland win the cup

 Now you see what I have to deal with?

1 comment:

The Dandy Man Can said...

Fantastic! You'll pick things up easy enough. Though if you can ever actually understand what a Geordie is saying to you when they speak, my, then my hat will off to you! Cool Blog.