Sunday, 27 November 2011

Life in a Cold Climate

A few weeks ago Bill showed me a cash point (ATM) that I'd not yet discovered.  In the window of the shop next to it was a poster with a thermometer.  I took a photo to share, but uncertain that the text would be legible, I've re-typed it.  You'll have to imagine the thermometer in the middle.
<>    <>  <>   <> <>   <>   <> <>    <>   <><>  <> <>  <>  <><>  <>    <>   <> <>   <> <><>   <>
Southerners turn on the heating



+50 degrees

Geordies sow the first seeds of spring

Southerners shiver uncontrollably



+40

Geordies sunbathe on the Town Moor

Southerners’ cars won’t start



+30

Geordies drive with the roof down

Southerners wear coats, gloves and woolly hats



+20

Geordies swim in the North Sea

Southerners begin to evaculate



+10

Geordies hold first BBQ of summer

Southern England closes down



0

Geordies throw on a t-shirt

Southerners cease to exist

-10

Geordie lasses go up the toon for a nite out



David Attenborough produces new series



-80

Geordies dig first leek trench of the year
Even Attenborough gives up

-100

Geordie lasses hoy on more lip gloss

Alcohol freezes

-173

Geordies drink at home because the pubs shut

Microbiological life starts to disappear

-297

Geordies start to think about t-shirt with long sleeves

All atomic motion stops

-460

Geordie lasses hoy on fake tan

Hell freezes over

-500

Sunderland win the cup

 Now you see what I have to deal with?

1 comment:

The Dandy Man Can said...

Fantastic! You'll pick things up easy enough. Though if you can ever actually understand what a Geordie is saying to you when they speak, my, then my hat will off to you! Cool Blog.