Mom's Birthday

I'm posting this on the right date, but admit to being rather late on this, which sort or surprises me. If there is any birthdate I'm ready to remember, it's Mom's. But life has been rather busy lately and much of it has had me thinking of her.

I always think of her when I'm sewing, but also when knitting. She taught me knitting and crochet when I was very young - 7 or 8 years old. I remember making a crochet poodle, named Pierre when I was 8. I'm sure I had loads of help. 

I also remember one Christmas in my 20s when she gave me a dozen sweaters she'd knitted for me in the previous year. I was astounded. I'm sad to say I can only recall a few:

a grey cardigan

an oatmeal coloured dolman sleeved sweater (jumper)

3 vests (waistcoats) in baby blue, light pink and purple

short sleeved sweaters (jumpers) in cranberry and another a red

I know I still have the first two and the blue waistcoat up on the attic. I'm sad I can't remember the other five sweaters, perhaps they'll come to me in time. They were all made with acrylic yarn except the dolman sleeved thing which was cotton. They weren't exactly up to date styles either, but I wore them as much as I could. Perhaps the other five were just too unfashionable, I don't recall. I remember the red short sleeved top was a bit scratchy and I wore a cami underneath to make it tolerable to wear.

My roses didn't fare well this year after we ran off to Scotland for a couple of weeks (to see Sarah and her young family) when they most needed dead heading. When I finally tidied them up there wasn't much left. These white roses were hanging down, droopy, so I cut them and put them on the dining table. I didn't know if the buds would bloom, but they did and I've just caught them before they began to drop petals. When thinking about this post I remembered that white roses are a symbol of eternal love. The words 'white rose' are engraved on Mom's wedding ring, which I now wear as mine. 

I've been busy working on a sweater for 3 month old Isla, Bill's newest (and probably last) grandchild. Since her mother, Sarah, has Isla's brother Struan calling me 'Grandma Shelley' and has been quite positive about the idea of my knitting and sewing for her kids, I guess I can say I'm knitting a cardigan for my granddaughter, Isla. It feels a bit weird to say that, but it's lovely at the same time. 

I also managed to crochet a frog for Struan. He named him Gordon. I'm still working on the dinosaur pattern, I may need to consult with some other knitters who managed this one.

I found this pattern on a blog called Oliver Boliver. I can see there is a lot more there to explore.

We had a wonderful weekend, in spite of the rainy weather. We had barbequed chicken, potato salad and carrots and broccoli in the tent, after I toasted/microwaved Struan's dinner: beans on toast. He sat in the motorhome quietly entertaining himself while I cooked dinner, careful to instruct me he needed butter on his toast. 

We had a lovely walk in the woods at Kielder Forest, taking in all the sites and signs. It rained quite hard at one point but as I was very warm and mostly waterproof, I loved it. It wasn't warm rain but it did feel like being a child again and playing in the rain. The raindrops on all the different plants sparkled beautifully after. We walked past the first really dark forest I believe I've ever seen - completely black and impenetrable. Sadly, I didn't think to bring my camera.

Saturday night it was raining so we all crammed into the motorhome - my covid red flags all seemed to have evaporated somehow, but then all the adults are fully vaccinated. We had barbequed ribs, rice and ratatouille (leftover from another meal at home). Sarah and Gareth provided wine and desserts for both meals and I got to 'cook for company' for the first time in ages. 

Struan came back to supervise my making his dinner again Saturday and watched me packing up Sunday morning. It may have been that he enjoyed being in a new space, one without a baby sister, but he let me cuddle him a bit and help him on and off with his waterproofs. I felt wholly honoured by his company. I'm grateful Sarah is a generous woman to give me 'granny rights'. My Mom would be so pleased for me. 

Grandmother's Birthday

I didn't forget, I just couldn't figure out where to squeeze it in and there were no new thoughts immediately springing to mind. So this post remembering Grandmother's (good heavens, 120th) birthday is late. 

The thing is, she is never very far from my mind. When catching up with comments with Jean from Delightful Repast, I was reminded of the time Grandmother made a cherry pie and offered me a piece. I wasn't a fan of the sweet / tart filling and said no, thank you, what a shame that I couldn't just eat the crust which was my favourite part. She said something like, Well then, honey, just you go ahead and eat as much of the crust as you like. I remember the guilty but delicious feeling of breaking off the buttery, crispy edges, decorated with the tines of a fork, all the way around the pie. It was heaven. I remember it as one her best proofs that she loved me. (She could be quite cranky and critical at other times, but she treated me better than most I must admit).

Grandmother and my cousin J.J. - who just turned 50!

Just this morning Bill and I were reminiscing about the various heating systems in the houses where we had lived. He grew up dressing in the mornings in front of the gas fire in his parents' bedroom while his dad went down and got the coal fire started in the kitchen.

My parents' house had an open gas fire in the bathroom - as did both my grandparents' houses - but the rest of the house was heated by two floor furnaces, one in the hall and the other in the dining room. Mom and I both had cross-hatch marks on most of our shoes from standing on the furnaces.

I lived in two houses with central heat, but never one with central air conditioning, unless you count the swamp cooler in Salt Lake City. Our house here is heated with hot water radiators. 

I remember the floor furnace in the centre of the open plan living / dining room at Grandma and Grandpa's house (I still have the key that Grandpa used to adjust the heat). But I cannot remember how either of Grandmother's houses, on 31st and 34th Street, were heated. I know that both had gas fires under a mantle in the living rooms but I can't recall ever standing on a furnace at either house. I'll have to ask my Uncle Pat if he remembers. 

I think of Grandmother when I do my family history, when I open my wardrobe and see her brooch, when I sit on her love seat or at her dining table, when I make cornbread dressing for Thanksgiving, when I debate with myself whether to hold my tongue or speak out, when I hear hymns she used to hum, when I think I'm tired from standing all day, when I bake pies, when I consider buying shape wear, when I remember collecting pop bottles to cash in at the convenience store across from her house, when I remember tap dance lessons with Uncle Bernard, when I feel rebellious at rules applied to old ladies, when I think about how to treat myself with respect in hopes it will encourage others to be respectful as well. 

Grandmother was definitely a role model for me in both bad (she was never very smart about money) and wonderful (she was never anyone but her own true self) ways. How can I not remember her for the rest of my life - hopefully until she'd be at least 150!?

This Year's Stack

So, it's a different picture this year as I decided to boycott Amazon for 

a) selling Trump family products 
b) having a reputation as a miserable place to work
c) threatening small businesses worldwide 
d) changing the culture with 24-hour delivery 

I was torn, as the owner of Amazon also owns the Washington Post but at the end of the day, I decided

e) I don't need to help Jeff Bezos get any richer. 

I've been doing business with Wordery. I did use Book Depository but stopped when I learned it was owned by Amazon. Since finding that out I check before I buy.  If you know of other book sources, I'd love to hear about them.

So, I gave Bill and each of the step-kids a wishlist with links to alternative sources. I didn't include books as I'm still having a book clear out. Also, I know at least two of them have an umbilical cord attached to Prime and are assimilated into the cult of instant gratification. I hasten to add I'm still fond of them and am not aware either are struggling with debt. I just love book shops and want to see them survive.

As it happens Sarah was super organised and had her shopping completed before the first of December. It was around then that I made my Amazon wishlist private and sent the wish list around. 

Better Than Before, Gretchen Rubin:
I had already read this book from the library but wanted a copy to mark up, annotate, etc. It has a lot of useful information I'm planning to use. Funny enough, our WI book group read one of her other books, Happier at Home, and pretty much all the Brits really hated it. Self-help stuff is not part of British culture, as one lady I really like said, "Why doesn't she stop saying 'Be Gretchen' and just get on with it?" I loved that remark as so essentially British and yet I still like Gretchen Ruben's books even though I'm not sure I would like her as a person. The Brits saw her as incredibly self-indulgent, even though she is combining her personal wish for growth with a very lucrative writing career. 

I sort of see what they mean, but I think she is very much a 'reader's writer' in that her books are full of quotes, research and references. I never read one of her books without finding out there are several other books she mentions that I want to get hold of. 

If you can bear the idea of improving yourself (and in this case, forming better habits that make your life easier) then I really do recommend this book.

Legendary Authors and The Clothes They Wore, Terry Newman:
I read this through quickly on Christmas Day, as Bill was in bed with a cold (we opened presents on Boxing Day). Can't say I knew of all the authors, so there may be something to learn from this. Otherwise, it was generally underwhelming. I was hoping for something more than it delivered somehow. It's reminded me to copy my Amazon wishlist and visit the library first. Still, I will probably re-read it to see if I overlooked the bits that might have provided more satisfaction. I remember reading 20th Century Characters, by Duncan Fallowell and commenting here that it was rather boring. It turned out that when I re-read it a couple of years later I found it quite fascinating, mainly because I knew more about who those characters were and how they fitted into my mental puzzle of the inter-war years. So I'm prepared to give Newman's book another go. 

Instead of books this year I got some perfume (Chanel No. 5), some bath and skin products, a couple of magazine subscriptions (No Serial Number and Reclaim), some peacock feathers, all on my list; also some surprises: chocolate, wine and sloe gin.

Did you get a stack of books for Christmas?

Happy Anniversary Sweetie!

Bernard's Birthday

Today is my uncle Bernard's birthday. He would have been 94, but instead he died at the age of 56. I never think of Bernard these days without remembering that I've now outlived him in years. I feel really fortunate and also rather humbled by that fact.  

This photo cracks me up. It was taken outside of 'Jungle Gardens', I believe somewhere in Florida. Grandmother's second husband was in the Navy and stationed in Florida and so the family moved there in the early 1940s. Bernard would be about 20 in this photo.  Obviously I can't see the person in the shadow, but that hat says 'Grandmother' to me! Hilarious!

Grandma's Birthday

I've no idea when this was taken but I would guess Grandma was about 16, which would mean it was taken around 1906.  She wrote her name on the photo, as she wrote names on many photos.  She never was a great beauty, but she always loved her clothes and she wasn't camera shy.

I wear her engagement ring most days alongside of my mom's wedding ring; I didn't want more jewelry when Bill and I married.  Grandma's wedding was 20 February, 100 years ago.

Rita's Birthday

I've been sewing more lately - sewing clothes even!  I never hear my sewing machine without picturing my Aunt Rita at hers.  I'm still using her pin cushion, scissors, clippers and other sewing supplies. Many of the spools of thread have her name marked on them, probably from when she went to classes. She bought braiding by the roll in Christmas colours and miles of ribbons in many colours.  My aim is to use it all and to think of her all the while.

Jack and Rita, Christmas 1986

Happy Birthday, Rita.

Charlotte's Christening

If baby pictures, vintage tea cups and chocolate dipped strawberries turn your stomach, look away now.  Yesterday, Bill's granddaughter, Charlotte (aged 11 months) was christened at St. Michael's and All Angels Anglican church, in Atherton, a suburb of Manchester.  I'd never attended a christening before, so it was quite interesting.

Charlotte and Helen

Martin (holding Charlotte) and Helen with Charlotte's godparents

A proud (previously very camera-shy) father.

Afterwards, we gathered at Atherton Cricket Club for a vintage tea, catered by The Vintage Tea Trolley.  (Click on this link for even more photos, including one of me stuffing my face).  

The menu included several small sandwiches, several cakes, scones and chocolate-dipped strawberries.  There was some horse-trading conducted so that everyone could get more of their favourites.

Martin's mother, Grandma Ann, made this beautiful cake.

Bill took most of these photos - he loved the beehive cake cover.

That's not icing on the cupcakes, it is clotted cream.  
All the same, I gave them a miss.

The guest of honour arrives...

Uncle Simon, Grandma Katie, me (in blue - I'm blonde now), Aunt Sarah and Simon's girlfriend, Simone.

I wore my wedding dress (its third use) but with a different jacket and shoes, both of which were much more comfortable. On the other hand, I'd rather attend a christening than get married any day; it's far easier on the nerves.  I made a navy blue clutch purse from some brocade scraps and a cardboard mailer envelope.  It worked perfectly.  Yes, my wrist is covered with bruises.  My old-lady skin doesn't like wearing watches any more apparently.

Charlotte in the play 'pool' and my feet in new shoes.

Wrapped in Grandma Ann's purple shawl.  

Two in front unknown; Grandma Katie, Uncle Simon and 
Aunt Sarah with white hair.

Me in pearls (I'm thinking I resemble Camilla...); Simone, Sarah and Simon.

Charlotte, Grandma Katie and Aunt Sarah

Aunt Sarah (Martin in background)

Charlotte had a cold and wasn't feeling brilliant on the day of her christening.  Helen didn't feel the photos of her dress would do her justice, so she got dressed up again and seemed to feel a bit better.

Aren't little satin baby shoes just the most fun!?

Happy Birthday, Daddy

Yet another year has rolled around and it's the day for me to remember my Dad.  Not that I forget him for long in between birthdays.

As you can see from Grandma's notation, he was sixteen years old in this photo.  Didn't they do dramatic portraits back then (1934)?  He looks a bit fed up, perhaps.  I know I got tired of having my picture taken by my photographer parents and grandparents...

Billy Bonka's Death by Chocolate

One of the other things we did when the whole group was together in Cockermouth was to have a Murder Mystery over dinner on Saturday night.  It was Helen's idea and she planned the whole thing beautifully, even posting invitations to our characters!  I won't say we were exactly typecast, but the people Helen chose to put against the characters was quite amusing.  I think we were all a bit nervous, this being the first murder mystery experience for many of us and I certainly have never done any sort of plays or acting.  In spite of all that, if you've never done this, I'd highly recommend it, but everyone does need to enter into the spirit of the thing for it to work.  It was great fun!  Thanks to Simon and Bill for sharing their photos...

Inspector McClue in Death by Chocolate 

"It's the 15th of April 1900, Easter Sunday. Paris is the centre of world attention as millions of visitors arrive for the opening this weekend of the International Exposition. Amongst them is an elite but diverse group of individuals staying at the Hotel Paradiso. As they gather for dinner, however, the peace of the hotel is rocked by an explosion. Billy Bonka, the foremost chocolate manufacturer in America, is found dead in his room, having apparently been killed by an exploding Easter Egg. Suspicion falls on the people around this table.

One - or more - of you is a murderer. Your task is to discover who that killer is. Fortunately the famous amateur detective Hercule McClue is on hand to assist your investigations."


Guests :

'CHOCOLAT' BERTRAND - The greatest legend of the Belgian chocolate industry, he is known as much for his ruthless business practices as for his suave bonhomie.

MARCHIONESS DUCHAMP - An internationally notorious artist, whose work has scandalised two continents, and whose private life has done much the same.

MARIA VON SCHNAPPS - The young businesswoman who has just taken over as head of a long-established Swiss chocolate firm.

MIKE BISON - The rising star of American boxing. He's in Paris for the Olympic Games, where he's sure he'll win a gold medal.

DAME BARBARA CARTHORSE - The most celebrated beauty in England, as well as a hugely popular romantic novelist.

DR. DORIS JOHNSON - An amateur archaeologist specializing in the Aztec culture, she is regarded as being eccentric even in a field populated by eccentrics.

DR SIGMUND FRAUD - The controversial psychologist whose theories have won him a small band of devoted disciples and the hatred of conventional society.


Inspector McClue makes his contributions via video conference.  You didn't know those were available back in 1900, eh?

And of course we had to have some chocolate on the menu!

At some point it started to get a bit wacky, but who could resist a tiara, a pretty hat or a stainless-steel-scouring-pad-beard? 

But all's well that ends well and the good guy got the girl...