Dimwit Day

I'm pretty useless at jokes, me.  Can't remember them, can't tell them, don't get them half the time.  One joke I will always remember is the one I heard my Uncle Pat tell my parents one weekend when I was a child.  They laughed heartily and I tucked it away, happy to finally have something to share at my first grade classroom's 'show and tell'.  In spite of the fact that I didn't have a clue what it meant.

There were these two rabbits, see, picking their way through a carrot patch.  The first rabbit would choose a carrot and then the second rabbit would join him.  Then the first rabbit would find another and the second rabbit would follow.  By and by, the first rabbit said to the other, "Don't eat that carrot, it's pithy.'  The second rabbit asked, 'How do you know?'  The first rabbit replied, 'Because I just pithed on it.'

When I stood up and told my joke, no one laughed.  I wasn't particularly embarrassed, I just remember shrugging my shoulders and going to sit down, having encountered yet another of life's vast mysteries.  When Mrs. Cartmill called my Mom to tell what I'd done, they apparently both thought it was hilarious, but after Mom explained what the joke meant I remember blushing so hard it hurt.  

I didn't do any more public speaking for the next seven years, and even then only because my English class required it.   I wasn't scarred for life, thankfully.  I'm actually a fairly confident public speaker now and have been for some time; I just make damned sure I know what I'm talking about.

So here's wishing you a happy April Fools' Day with hopefully no terribly painful jokes.  The origins of this day make for an interesting read, if you're curious.  Apparently you should be safe after noon.